I sometimes just think of the oddest things. And then it gets tied into another odd thought. I love the way my brain works sometimes. Its organized chaos.
But one of the thoughts I had yesterday was about my personal heroes. Every day people that do so much and don’t realize the impact they have had on my life. I have a few for different reasons I admire them. One is my friend Diane. She is an amazing human being. She has her own personal struggles with being laid off her job she had for years and losing all but her income except for the unemployment that she was getting. And with all of that she devoted all her time to save the most amazing fuzzy creatures known to man. She transformed her home into a safe haven for ferrets. She takes them all in if she can. If she cant she finds someone who can. The sick fuzzies get the best care her hospice can give and the healthy ones are adopted out to families after they are “interviewed”. She has set up a store of stuff that she produces for ferret care and sells it on eBay to help pay for the food and litter she needs to stay up and running. It is her complete self sacrifice and devotion that has inspired me so much now and ever since I have met her. I have a great love for all animals but a special place is in my heart for ferrets. I give to her often so she doesn’t have to skimp. She is my hero. I can only hope to inspire people they way she does. I have heard people slander her but only because they don’t understand. If you don’t get the attention you believe she should give you. It is not because she is ignoring you. But because she is busy saving lil lives and making them happy whether they have a day to live or 6 years.
My other hero is my Step Mother. She has lived not so blessed life but she takes everything and puts a good spin to it. My Step Mother can relate to my childhood in many ways. As a young girl her mother passed and like every good fairy tale her life turned to crap. Her father who loved his late wife abused my step mother because she looked like her mother. The abuse would get worse over the years where he had married an evil step mother who brought two step sisters into her life. Then her two real brothers were turned against her so she had no family to speak of in her life except her grand parents who lived far away. When she got older and moved out she moved close to her grandparents who showed her finally the love and care she should have always had. Later when they passed she was not allowed to save anything of theirs because her father took it all to spite her. As the years passed so did her father. We were living in Italy at the time it happened and I remember the sadness she felt when she got the news. The worst part of it was..She was not even invited to his funeral. Around the time that happened my Step Mother was also diagnosed with uterine cancer. So to make matters worse she now had to go thru all the agony of cancer on top of the emotional damage dealt to her by her family. Thru the years she has beat her cancer and has been diagnosed with several other severe maladies. All of which she fights and in her way beats. She is still in the process of working on a few new ones. But to her it is nothing. How can she not be my hero after all of that. Her childhood reflecting my own in many ways and her joy of life no matter the adversity is humbling.
Which lead me to my last thought. My Foe. My mortal enemy. Myself! The thoughts that sneak into your head at night when you least expect it. The things that send you to your knees when your trying to have a good time. That doubt and loathing that all keeps tumbling back to the forefront of your brain when your defenses are down. That part of you that refuses to let you be happy. That little niggling feeling in your head that says your not that special. Yup. All that has kept me from a lot in the last 12 years. I fought it hard when I was younger and lost the battle when I moved close to home. Now that most of my family has passed it has been easier however the doubts are still there.
My last thought last night was. I cant wait to show Mom that I could do it. She cant call me fat anymore. Alas if she is watching it is not from heaven. Its to bad she lost her own battle and let it get the best of her. Sorry Mom. I forgive you but I will never forget.
No comments:
Post a Comment