The Aftermath

Well I did the Color Run on Sunday with my hubby and a friend of ours.  We had an absolute blast!  It was a 5K (3.1 miles)  But we actually did over 7 miles with the dancing and bouncing we did before the race..lol.  I woke up after two hours of sleep at 0430 and started my day by getting coffee after my shower.  And by the time I went to bed it was at 0930 at night.  It was a long eventful day and I loved every second of it.  I swear next year we need more people to sign up with us.  And its a fun run so why kill yourself by running when you can walk and enjoy ever second of the event.
Who knew it would be so fun to get so dirty!

Two hours before the run:

 I have already been plastered with orange, pink and now a shovel full of yellow!!

 Bring on the Blue baby!!

This was after the color blast at the finish...Didnt get pelted nearly as bad as my hubby did!

 LOL my hubby is the Jolly Green Giant!

Shabu-Shabu and the Color Run

I am getting so excited.  I got the race packets for my husband and I last night.  And of course there is an area after you pick up your race goodies to get extra shirts, hoodies, tees of all sorts…Drool.  I wanted it all.  I gave in and bought a black racer back tank to work out in and two bracelets.  My husband is going to throw the Blue color and I will throw the green.  I think this is going to be so awesome. 

Woot my Goodies all laid out. 

After on our way home we stopped at a Japanese Steak House and I had Shabu-Shabu for the first time in my life.  I have never seen it before but I accidentally ordered it not fully understanding what I was getting into.  I have never had so much fun eating in my life.  For those who don’t know what Shabu-Shabu is the definition is below:

Shabu-shabu is Japanese style meat fondue. Thinly sliced meat, along with vegetables, mushrooms and tofu is dipped into a hot soup and then into ponzu vinegar or a sesame sauce before being eaten

And I had it with seafood instead of meat.  I wanted sushi but when I had seen the seafood platter I changed my mind and ordered it.  When I got it I had to ask the very nice waiter to explain how to eat it.  My husband seeing what I got was jealous and was trying to give me his sushi so he could have my Yummys instead. Lol!

I now want a table with an electric stove so I can do this at home.  What a great Idea!  Next time however I think I will try it with the beef.  It just looked to damn good.

I will keep everyone updated on the weekend on Monday.

Happy weekend and Hugs!!

Lean on Me!

I’m at home dodging storms.  And While I sit here I keep singing that song “Lean on Me”.  I find it uplifting in so many ways.  Then my brain (in all its wonder) led me down the MF path.  So I want to dedicate this blog to Medifast!  Why?  You may ask.  Well simply because that is what Medifast is to me.  I lean on it for the support to help me lose my poundage.  While I lose the poundage, I have my faithful companion that will not abandon me nor is it fickle.  My beloved MF packets!  Not only that but it affords a variety of support in all sorts of flavors.  I know this is sappy sort of blog.  But I cannot help it.  I am in a mood where I feel like I need to spill and share how much I have relied on Medifast and not thanked them for the help.  Losing 60 pounds.  Showing others that I can and will do it.  Belonging to a group of people that I wish deeply I could reach out and hug half the time.  I love the fact that I am starting to near my end. (Well not for a few more months at least). 

So with this I want to thank Medifast from the depths of my heart.  You will never fully know what you did for me and millions of others like me.

Hugs!

Your so pretty, but…

How many of us hear this…followed by some awful back handed compliment.  One you can’t take anyway but badly. 

Your face is sooo pretty (to bad you’re so big).  It’s a classic remark from some skinny person who has no way, any understanding at how awful that lil remark is.  And we know what you’re really saying and you may not have said it but you might as well have.  We have all heard some variation of this in some way or another. 

I was talking with a friend of mine who just had weight loss surgery.  And she was telling me her stories of “you’re so pretty but”.  Some made me want to scream.  Honestly people have no brains or at least don’t use them when talking.  Just because we are obese does not make us an alien to point at and make excuses for.  I have feelings.  If you cut me I bleed red just like you. 

Yeah we are all pretty or handsome depending on the reader.  But I like to define beauty by what lies beneath the skin.   I don’t need top model looks to feel excepted by society (though I will not lie it would be nice).  What I need and want is a beautiful soul.  And to surround myself with people who are beautiful. 

It was funny when my friend also told me I was the only person who noticed her weight loss when she had only lost 15 pounds.  I can tell the look when your face starts getting that “sunk in” look.  You know that look where your cheek bones make an appearance again. Lol.  Regardless I always thought she was pretty.  She has a soul that shines right thru her weight!

A new start!

I started my new job today.  IT WAS AWSOME!  I enjoyed every minute of my 8 hours of work.  I am already doing real work and not just the “hey try this and see if you understand” work.   I think I totally shocked them too.  They seem baffled that I can figure it out so fast.  But when you work in a miserable place for 5 years you learn to do a lot to not have to suffer so much.  I have taken that and applied it to my new job making me look like a freaking genius...lol.  I get home two hours earlier.  This means I can go to the gym earlier and back home again for the second time all before I would normally get home with that other job.  I am a happy, happy person today.  I am also WIRED.  Too much caffeine due to lack of sleep because I was all a flutter for the new job… lol.  My blog post is a little small today but I am back from myself imposed vacation and will start posting my blogs again.   Later in the day but posting them none the less.

Hugs!

Where’s Waldo?

I have found myself looking at people differently.  I look at them and wonder.  Where they like us before?  Were they…..wait for it….Fat?  I go places and wonder if that skinny guy over there or the skinny girl in the corner were overweight like I was.  What did they do?  Did they use Medifast?

Among the sea of people how many are there that were on their death watch.  I watch TV and I see stories of famous or semi famous people who have lost weight and wonder how they came to the decision to use the program they used.  I had seen one today who lost 180 pounds with the lap band and wondered again why people choose such drastic measures to lose the weight.  Did they try another option first?  My husband was all impressed that this man lost that much weight in two years.  To be honest so was I until I heard he used invasive surgery to do it.  I told my husband that he could have lost that much without surgery.  I am not opposed to the way he lost it.  Just mystified.

So here I am always wondering how other people lose their weight.  What was their motivation?  What made them change stop the death watch and start living again.  So my game of where’s Waldo is all I see when I look at people now.  Gone is my blind take on the world.  When I was oblivious to others, as I was of myself. 

Thanks to Waldo I see people and think.  Geez we need a secret hand shake so we know we are. 

Hugs.

I was asked to update my Skinny List. Was shocked at how much I accomplished.

1) Shop at Armani and actually fit into the clothes.

2) Try to run a marathon (have bad knees even when I was skinny)

3) (This one is optional because I don't think I can do it. but will give it a try) Train for Ironman.

4) Be able to walk into Victoria Secret and actually get help without begging cuz now I can fit the stuff. (Accomplished)

5) get a new job (because I despise where I work, but I don't have the confidence to get one now) ((Accomplished))

6) Battle my fear of heights and go zip lining! Planned for 5/26 will update on how I did!  (postponed until my husband loses a few more pounds)

7) Not care about joining a gym (they won’t laugh and point at the skinny girl).  (Accomplished)

8) GO TO THE DOCTOR for a PHYSICAL! Going on Feb 3 (Accomplished)

9) have a baby and if it’s not as simple as that adopt! (I have been trying for 6 years after all)

10) Hike MT. Washington

11.) Become an internationally famous cat burglar...........LOL was just checking to see if anyone was paying attention.

Adding more after the fact!

12.) Fit into a fantastic Bikini!!!

13.) White Water rafting

Re-taking the plunge.

I have thought about it for a while.  And I have decided to jump back in and help friends and family as a coach.  I have been asked to not give up by my old clients who have both met their goals.  I am actually so proud of them as they have done so well now that they are off the program and maintaining.  She is an awesome size 2 down from a 12.  It’s funny that the coach needs coaching.  But everyone needs a kick in the butt once in a while.  We all need a bit of inspiration to keep us motivated. 

I had read a post on the forums awhile back about people complaining about MFers becoming coaches before they were done.  So I have opted to not post in my title that I am a TSFL coach.  However, I have the same issue with people who only lose a small amount of weight and declared they are now coaches.  In all honesty I don’t think someone who only lost 20 pounds can fully understand those of us who need to lose 100+.  Now that I am down 60+ pounds I can say I have gained enough experience in this program.  I am not saying that I am hands down the expert on all things Medifast like some do.  I know very little on transition apart from already helping my other clients.  But I have been thru hell and back in my journey.  I have suffered abuse from fellow MFers.  I have been scared off by them since my POV does not match theirs. 

I miss my interaction with my fellow losers.  I have stayed away for fear of the drama and the out right and blatant disregard for certain members.  We are big kids now.  I have seen some of us act like lil children at times and I have risen to the bait.  I will not sit idly by any longer and have my fellow minded thinkers be beaten down and chased off.   So today I announce I am back in the game and put my foot down and refuse to be chased off again. 

This is me.  This is my choice. 

Hugs!

Never give up never surrender

Churchill said this…Most of us recognize this quote.  I have approached my weight loss with a militaristic mind.  I never do things half way since there is no half way in weight loss and this suited me well.  Never give up.  I am still here still fighting the fight.  I have been doing this plan since mid-October so that is what?  8 months?  And I only lost 60 pounds.  I never give up.  I went thru 3 months of no losses but I stuck to the plan.  I didn’t give up.  There is no option for surrender. 

When I finally came to the decision to lose I had laid out a plan of attack.  I was going to take this on like I would a battle.  Giving up...no way.  I can’t afford to give up.  I only have a small amount of time left to become healthy and hopefully able to have kids.  This was my last option to do something that was non evasive about my weight.  I am not opposed to cheating and have learned that those who throw bigger stones are usually the guiltiest of cheating.  I have cheated once with a cup cake and once with a cannoli.  I made the decision to do so, the same way I did when I had a cigarette after I quit smoking. And here I am still losing weight and still not smoking.   I refuse to be a held hostage to food or lack thereof. 

Surrendering is not knowing you went too far.  Surrendering is when you go so far off plan that you never come back.  Giving up is gaining it all back and keeping it because “you can’t lose” We all know we can but we also see how hard it is.  Just remember.  Don’t give up and never surrender.  We can all do this and we can all learn to keep it off.

Hooowaaaaa

Lets Dance!

I recently ordered a burlesque DVD teaching you how to be sexy and burn 600 calories in an hour.  I am happy to say that I cannot wait to see the results.  I have felt so much more empowered and sexy lately and that makes me happy.  I never felt this way not even in my twenties and skinny.  If I really enjoy this I may have to do it every other day so I can still hit the gym with my other work out stuff.

Yesterday my hubby and I went to the Red Sox/Yankee game.  I almost wished I stayed home because the Sox lost but I did have a great time…Apart from smelling that horrible food when we walked into the park.  Up until that point I have been thinking about the chicken sausage I was going to eat.  Not.  After smelling all the food at once (It smelled of super bad B.O.) I went without.  I am sad that I did that because I missed a few meals because of the game.  I was silly and forgot to pack a few bars...Sigh.  We left the house at 4 to get to the park and meet my dad.  We didn’t get home until after midnight.  So I missed out on an afternoon snack, a lean green, and my late snack.  Ohhh boy.  But I did do a lot of dancing in my seats…they had great music all night…lol. 

Also my NSV from a few weeks ago has been still at work.  My FB is tainted with an old high school friend hitting on me like there was no tomorrow…sigh.  How to tell him to stop without defriending him?  I have not got a clue.  But I can’t stop being my over sharing self.  Because that’s just not me.  Speaking of over sharing.  I tried on a lovely Ralph Lauren size 10 dress and IT FIT!  I am thrilled about that.  I am starting to wear mediums too.  I bought my first Express cowl neck tank that is so lovely it made me cry.  I actually wore it too.  I never ever would have worn a tank in public before.  Now bring on the tanks!!!!

As for my two weeks of unemployed vacation *smiles*.  I am thrilled.  I have all sorts of plans.  First and foremost is to clean the house top to bottom.  After that the beach!!!  Hang out with a few friends that I can never see.  Watch a few movies.  Life is good!  Thank god I got that new job.  Swear I have never been so elated in my life.

Happy Blogging!

Happy to announce

The I got the job I wanted.  I had all my friends sending my good vibes and prayers.  I have to say.  I was elated when I got the call today.  As soon as I hung up the phone I started to cry.  I don’t remember the last time I cried out of pure unadulterated joy.  I called my hubby and woke him up crying..lol.  I felt bad for a co-worker in the same situation as I and decided to give them one more day of my life.  As a short timer of course I will be counting the hours.  But I need to train her on my duties since she will be unfortunately turning into me as soon as I walk out the door.  I respect her enough to throw her a bone and give her all my knowledge.  I also told her to call me if she needs help.  But as of tomorrow I am on paid vacation.  :)  I have so much that needs to be done anyway so will use my time wisely.  I will also enjoy the fact that I can go to the beach...I can take Zumba classes or hell any class at the Y for the next two weeks.  And as a side note.  I am thinking about becoming a jazzercise instructor.  I am looking at buying a franchise and looked around and nobody is doing it.  It is also making a HUGE comeback.  So it may be worth looking into further.

Anyway I would like to leave my blog thanking everyone with your positive vibes and prayers.

Motivating others

It’s a funny thing who inspires us to do what.  I was inspired by Kelsey to do a 5K so I signed up.  I didn’t expect the simple joy I would feel from that small step.  But I was elated.  I have literally ran around telling anyone and everyone who would listen.  I am sure they thought I was a nut.  Nobody understands the joy unless they were in the position of having lost themselves.  

 

So, unbeknownst to me.  I had spoken volumes to a friend by my actions. I was telling her (in my super excited way) about the 5K I signed up for.  I told her that since it was just a fun run I was going with my husband and we were walking it.  She started to ply me with questions and today signed up for the same 5K as my husband and I.  I am thrilled to share my joy with others but didn’t realize that someone actually did listen. 

 

To inspire you don’t have to do something massive.  You don’t have to scream at others to do what you do.  Just do what makes you happy.  Let others see your joy.  And like all the cheesy kung Fu movies.  “seeee the dragon…beeeee the dragon”

Hugs and happy motivating my friends!!

Just when you thought it was safe.

You dip your toes in and get bit.  Sigh.  I don’t know when I will EVER learn.  But I apparently am a glutton for punishment.  I tried again to get back into the Mymedifast groove....opps.  All I can say is someone was GRUMPY and thought that they had to lash out in a less than kind way.  Which in turn got other peoples hackles raised.  Yeah some people thrive on bull I do not.  I would like to frequent this website more again apart from posting my daily blog.  But it doesn’t seem to be in the stars.  I have so much personal crap to contend with that I just don’t have the time or energy to put up with Medifast drama. 

As for my personal/work drama I have opted to play stupid and no longer train.  The powers that be had made it clear that they want to control me by telling me that I am horrible then turn around and say they trust me implicitly to train made me see red.  I have put up a wall and now tune all out.

I have been interviewing a lot lately so I am hoping that an offer comes.  And When that time comes I will walk out almost as soon as I hang up the phone.  I have never felt so strongly in my life than I do about this.  I will not give two weeks notice.  I may not even give two minutes.  I have had an abusive child hood I don’t need abuse as an adult. 

I like my support from my wonderful MF friends.  I think that for the most part everyone is awesome.  What I think is sad is that there are the special few who believe themselves above the rest.  I don’t care if they are the president of the damn world..we are hear to lose weight..so you are no better than everyone else.  I of course may be wrong in that assumption.  I have not yet seen if they can walk on water.  But if they invite me to that spectacular feat I will be there and than eat crow.  (I do find crow tasty anyways.  Yes I have eaten it...That’s a whole different story).

All in all I miss the interaction with mymedifast.com.  But I cant abide by the few bad apples that keep popping up. I will keep attempting to make my “come back” but I doubt it will go further than what it did yesterday.  So to all of my friends with more patience than me.  HUGS cuz your officially my hero’s!

Inner Goddess.

I was reading a book this weekend...actually a few books.  And I was on my deck.  In my short shorts and tank...that I ended up making into a tube top.  And just enjoyed the sun sucking up as much as I could.   I was letting my inner Goddess out for some much needed fresh air.  I have avoided the sun with the excuse of it bad for the skin.  But in truth it was because I was not COMFORTABLE in my skin.  I used to worship the sun with my SPF 30 and still have a lovely tan by the end of a month to last me thru most of the rest of the year. 

As I was sitting there on my deck relaxing I was telling my husband that I will never be that lovely shade again.  Its been so long since I let my inner Goddess out to play that she is afraid to suck in some of that healthy looking color.  I am literally so white that I am sort of translucent.  You can see my blue veins.  As I rub on my mandatory SPF 50 I keep thinking...This is useless.  I’m still going to burn.  But I didn’t.  I am proud to say I am less translucent but still white..lol.  I would use less protection but I know better.  Yes sun is bad..But it is also good for you.  So this will probably take me the entire summer to get the tan that only took me a few weekends prior to the weight gain.

My inner Goddess also went to a meeting for the shelter I volunteer for.  Where she met up with a friend who looks AMAZING.  She went from a size 12 to a 2 and I was Wowed.   We were supposed to take pics of us being silly but we got caught up in the meeting.  But we have another in August so I am hoping I will have lost my 75 and on to my last 31.  I was also a bit envious.  She kept tempting me with real food saying it would “shock” my system and help me lose.  But I have had slow losses and LOTS of stalls and I am OP.  So  I refused and did my thing as I always do.  But that lil green Goddess was all sorts of upset because she couldn’t eat her pizza and wasn’t in and out of transition already like her.  Its silly.  My Goddess and I have agreed that we will keep on putt putting along until the end without doing anything drastic.  But boy its another thing when the thing you want most is right in front of you in a super sexy top and jean shorts.  The other thing that made my Goddess a bit green was the fact that I lost almost 60 pounds (20 pounds more than her) But not one person seemed to notice.  All they saw was her.  I know petty as it is.  I am proud of her.  I am thrilled she lost what she did.  But still I felt like chopped liver when the caviar was there.

I think its funny how we are outwardly one way but deep inside that uppity Goddess is really not happy when the attention is not towards her..lol.  I chalk it up to my usual insecurities.  One day my Goddess will realize that she too is caviar!!

Hugs!