The Bad Wife!

A few years ago my hubby was very active when I wasn’t and had lost a lot of weight and was looking positively yummy.  But the little green demon in me piped up and held him back.  He was out mountain biking every weekend all day and I wanted to stay home and watch TV and do nothing.  So I started to tell him how thin he was and that he should gain back more weight.  In retrospect I see I was sabotaging him and his weight loss.  And I am so disgusted with myself.  It just hit me today this memory that I honestly haven’t thought about in years.  But there it was and I can’t take back what I did.

I am not sure exactly why I did it being it was a few years ago.  But I think it was mainly jealousy that started it.  I didn’t want him to leave me because I was a slacker then, and not as cute as I used to be.  And now that he was looking yummy and getting attention from other girls.  I felt it was my only way to hold him back in order to keep him.  Looking back now I see what I did.  And I am ashamed of it.  If anyone does that to me know I walk away.  I found I prefer my health over someone who will hold me back.  I am shocked he didn’t do the same.  And I am so thankful he didn’t. 

Now on my journey I encourage more activity in our lives.  But now he holds back.  He loves how I have blossomed but has chosen to hold back.  Perhaps the lingering memory of my telling him I didn’t like him thin?   What have I done?  Have I ruined him?  I really don’t think so.  He has lost weight while I have been doing Medifast.  But not fast.  In the 10 months So far I have been doing this he has only lost 25 pounds.  Granted it’s not too shabby of an accomplishment.  But when men can lose 25 pounds with just a good pee its rather slow.

I need to find a way to go back and undo the damage that I have caused.  I love my husband.  I truly do.  And he is unhealthy now due to his weight.  But how do I?  If only I could build a time machine and instead of holding him back I could just get out and do stuff with him.  What a better solution that would have been then the one I had previously chosen.

Hugs!